New Year’s resolutions are pants, aren’t they?… so as you have probably reneged on most of your December 31st promises by now, may I suggest one that’s a bit more fun to stick to?
We’re well past a month into 2017 now, and if you’re one of those enthusiastic types that likes to regularly frequent a gymnasium, as I believe they are called, you’ll have probably already noticed that the plethora of newbies that descended on the place in the first week of January, tags still intact on their virgin Lycra and an expression of optimism and fear on their confused faces, have now all but bugged out…
Good intentions can pan out like that sometimes, eh?
Although I can heartily get behind anyone that’s into self-betterment, I think there is perhaps another regime that you commit to that carries the same post-transformative feel-good factor, allied to a great deal more fresh air – and possibly even a small financial reward at the end of it. Interested in starting down the path of a truly new you? Well, I haven’t got a clue where to start, my friend. But, if you want to make your motor into an inspirational beacon of brilliance, then I have the very plan to help you achieve. And, best of all, you don’t have to wear a stitch of unflatteringly figure-hugging sports wear… Unless you want to, of course. It’s your driveway.
Unlike self-betterment, treating your car to a ‘new year’ makeover is perhaps a lot more realistic. You don’t have to do it every other day, for starters. Once a week is a great way to start, perhaps with a little wash and dry using our new UHD Shampoo, before moving on to the cross-trainer equivalents that we call Fast Glass and High Performance Tyre Gel. Like that nice old lady that just pops in once a week to use the rowing machine, this is a sensible regime that shouldn’t tax too much, and will give excellent results without too much time being spent.
The problem is, car care is a bit like the gym, you see… in that once you begin to realise what a little effort can achieve, you begin to wonder what might happen if you put a few more hours in. And, funnily enough, the effects are also very similar. If you sweat, preen, primp and graft, either on the driveway, or the spinning bike, you’ll soon notice a dramatic improvement in your bodywork, doubtless with many admiring glances coming your way, wolf whistles being regularly proffered, and indecent covetous proposals being put forward. Interestingly, this can even happen to those gym-types, too.
Then, before you know it, that swift weekly ‘splash and dash’ becomes a full-on four-hourly session with waxes, dressings, cleaners, polishes, leather creams – and a level of kit that makes your garage shelf look like aisle three in Halfords. Weekly cleans become daily details, the shine on your car starts to alert the local air traffic control, and then, you even start buying the larger pack sizes, just to keep up with your insatiable demand for the perfect body(work).
You don’t have to strive for the automotive equivalent of Mr. (or indeed Miss) Universe, though. Somewhere in between those two extremes is a point where you’re regularly out, perhaps on a Sunday morning, using a few products, and getting the warm rosy glow of a bit of exercise and the warmer, rosier glow that can only come from driving a perfectly detailed ride. And the best bit? If you’ve made your car look a lot nicer than when you started all this, you’ve probably added more than a few quid to its resale value too. See, I told you there might be a small financial incentive! Should pay for all the Autoglym, at least.
This Sunday, you can either choose to spend it sweating in your local keep-fit establishment – and all power to you if you do, or, like me, you can venture out onto your driveway, do a few squats to dunk your wash mitt, apply a few curls across the bonnet and then hit 50 reps across the bodywork. Whichever you choose – sit back and enjoy the results!
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